An Insight into Expectations

“Cutting our expectations for a cure is a gift we can give ourselves,” writes Pema Chodron.

Expecting certain outcomes either takes our minds into the future or keeps us chained to the past. This prevents us from being present, and without presence we are not really here, not really living in reality. So looking for answers or “a cure” is counterproductive, it creates distance between the one having the experience and the experience itself. First you must know yourself and only then can you grow. The cure is being present. Do not try  to change the experience in order to achieve some goal you’ve convinced yourself you need to reach. You want something different? Truly be yourself now – that is how you will get somewhere. But this is not easy for us. We are conditioned to think that we must always be doing; simply being is deemed lazy or unproductive. Ironically, we glorify those spreading false truths. The people who appear to be attaining happiness through accumulation of materials on the outside are only compensating for their emptiness on the inside. The ones we should follow and learn from are those who have very little on the outside, for they are rich within.

Meditation is the means through which we learn to let go of expectations. While we sit and become aware of ourselves, we allow feelings to pass through us without holding on to whatever we encounter. See it, be it, let it go.

Meditation Practice

  • Find a comfortable place to sit either on a chair with feet flat on the floor and a straight back or on the floor against a wall with a straight back (you may sit on a cushion).
  • Close your eyes.
  • Focus your gaze to the point in-between your eyebrows.
  • Become aware of the rise and fall of your inhalations and exhalations.
  • When thoughts arise place bubbles around them and gently guide them out of your mind, do not become frustrated.
  • Become aware of the space between your thoughts, dwell there.
  • Do this for 5 minutes (start today).
  • Afterwards, thank yourself for gift you’ve given yourself.


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